Friday, January 15, 2010

ron - toxic spam

sometimes when i accidentally commit myself to something that i wasn't really sure about at the beginning, the consequences will start to emerge eventually. eventually is now. all the spam keeps entering the mailbox and each time i see the email, i keep feeling a gush of guilt, inaptitude and annoyance. i want to remain radio silence.

i keep receiving repetitive messages regarding all the things that i am completed uninterested about and i keep having to convince myself to (attempt to) read them. the lack of passion only serves to drive a wedge between me and the organization and i really feel a little lacklustre and under the weather of late. i like to do things as i please. it would be exceptional if everything had fitted perfectly into the grand scheme of things. and seriously, now is not the best time to settle any organisation-related stuff because i really need to concentrate on my modules and the people that really matters a lot to me.

it has always been a choice, and i'm really afraid that if i choose my modules and my friends now, i will not be able to carve out a nice gleaming path for myself.

then again, life ain't about a gleaming path. maybe all i need around me are just the friends and family. and perhaps a good night's sleep.
---------------
moved along at 3:24 AM
|