Monday, March 08, 2010

ron - before we come undone

dear diary

i feel really upset today. i feel like i need to take a step back and hide underneath my bed for a while before i can climb out again and take in the fresh air. i seem to be letting myself down with my choice of words each time i subconsciously rattle off and offend the closest people around me. i guess i am definitely way more expressive (in both tangible and intangible ways) of my feelings than i'd like to be.

i love these people a lot, probably a little too much for their liking. i only wish for their smile and happiness, and i definitely never meant to create a situation whereby we'll all have to retreat into our shells and lick our wounds. i only wish to give them a nice little hug at the end of the day and tell them we'll always be there for one another, but i always end up weakening the very foundation of our existence. and then we don't hug. and we'll all be feeling like crap for the next couple of hours.

do i wish that we'll all stay happy together forever? yes.

i need to do something to make myself more of a worthy person so that they all can lean on me whenever and wherever.

this time it's different, and i'm not going to ever screw it up like i did before.

ron
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moved along at 1:27 AM
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