Saturday, November 06, 2010

greyer skies

i know that the real world works differently from how i perceive it to be. and its really sad because i know that is the real world, but i also indignantly choose to live the way i live and refuse to conform to it.

i am afraid that if i do so, i will no longer be able to behave like a child with no worries and sit around and do things without any regard for consequences.

this situation has an uncanny resemblance to how the army works. and having gone through it, i'd probably experienced it first hand. but i guess i was seeking a reprieve by trying to escape this entire farce of a world. and now that it'd hit me, i guess i'd have to smile at that conniving bastard, and shake the hand of the backstabbing pitch. keeping a mask on at all times has never been so important.

its so sad, because if i do conform to this, that will mean that i have grown up.

and if thats the pre-requisite of being a grown up, den i'd rather not be one. Nonetheless there's no stopping of time and the elements, and eventually i'll just grow up to be one.

Somedays if i could play god, it would be really sweet.

so much. angst.
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moved along at 2:56 AM
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