Sunday, August 07, 2011

i feel like i have moved on the next phase of my life. i find myself increasingly concerned about how the working world is going to treat me when i do graduate in two years time. i mostly enjoy what i study, which is finance, but my greatest fear lies in the potential stiff competition i will face when i apply for a job at the bank of my choice.

with the US, Euro and pretty much the rest of the world getting themselves into a fucked up debt crisis, i can only imagine what the job climate will be like when i graduate. there are thousand and one other finance grads that are equally, if not better than me. they are confident, they have a wide network of people to namecheck their way up the career ladder, they are people who have interned with great firms, they are more willing than myself to take a bigger risk to work long and scary hours. they are people that i am not.

i figured that i am a competitive bitch. not in the SMU-backstabbing way, but the if all my friends are at a great place in their lives i would feel depressed if I weren't equally as capable kinda way. some looks like they are on their way to working at GIC, while others are pursuing high-flying corporate finance jobs at jp morgan chase. others are working their way into the dean's list, and scoring A+ for all their modules. i feel quite inept in their presence. I always believed that I would become someone greater, so i guess I ought to work harder. after all, no pain no gain.

perhaps i need to step up. i only have two years. and i want to provide for the people that i love. and before i do that, i need to be very certain of what i want to do, how i am going about it, and finally set the train in motion.

the fear of being inept is my greatest motivation.
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moved along at 8:09 PM
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