Sunday, January 29, 2012

i was warned prior that this great migration to the west will stir up some potential discord among even the closest groups of friends. and i remember telling myself that regardless of the circumstance, i must learn to keep my cool and maintain my composure. unfortunately, i failed. not once but probably twice or thrice.

there's really no point in dwelling on the incident since what's done is done. and there really isn't a need to point fingers now. all i really need is for things to eventually settle down and hopefully get back to normal soon.

all these conflicts are starting to raise some red flags. things i want to happen can never be satiated and things people want from me can never be fulfilled as well. it's just our inherent characteristics, personality, and identity that make this problem persistent right from the very beginning. and thus it leads to me think if everything was even right and complementary from the start? i used to believe that there was some truth in it, but now i'm starting to see holes in this argument.

the saddest thing out of all of this is that: i actually feel relieved to be sitting here alone right now typing this entry that probably no one will ever read. I feel like can finally be like my usual self when i'm in my room at home in the middle of the night. I can wreck havoc and throw pillows around and have no one bother me and be affected by my mood. I can do what I want when I want and not having to compromise. I am responsible for my own well-being and no one can criticise or make snide remarks in sarcasm.

i hope that there would be more than one person in the house in time to come, but I feel perfectly comfortable being alone right now.

and did i ever thought of waiting up? sadly enough, i didn't.
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moved along at 12:06 PM
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